sleep can wait

Nights like this are so rare. It’s 70°, the moon is super bright, there’s an incredible breeze blowing through the trees, and the crickets are singing. I know it’s getting late and the sun is going to come before I know it, but I just can’t head to bed. Because, you can’t bottle up hours like this and save them for a more “reasonable” hour. I know the children will be up soon, and there will be all sorts of needs to be met, things to do, places we have to go. But I don’t want this glorious gift of a night to slip away without fully enjoying it. Everything is so alive out there. My daughter came downstairs about 45 minutes ago; she was having trouble falling asleep. And, she was hungry. So, she sat and ate a banana while chatting with me for a few minutes. She headed off to bed, but now I sort of wish she’d stayed to hang with me until the midnight hour. She loves these nights, too, and is such fabulous company. Now there’s a train horn in the distance, and I can hear the tracks, and there’s the sound of an ambulance somewhere else in town. Opportunity to lift someone else up in prayer, because the Lord is ever listening. The world is still turning, and life is always being lived. The cars going by outside my windows carry people to where at this hour? Lives being lived. And tonight they’re lived in bright moonlight and cricket song. And, I wonder how many people passing by — like the person walking by on the sidewalk behind my house — are able to stop and take in the beauty of the night. Beauty in the everyday. Any hour.
I hope wherever you are tonight, if you’re still up, that you’re able to take some time and enjoy the night before you head off to sleep. Because the heavens declare, and it’s autumn. Hopefully, you have a bright half moon where you’re at, too.


(*Disclaimer about the photo at the top of this post…it’s not perfectly lovely. This I know. But, it is authentic, it is the view I’m enjoying right now. It is beautiful in its own way, with the myriad of branches and the moon that is always so reluctant to be photographed well with the camera on my phone. Now imagine the train whistle and cricket chorus…)

summer morning

Summer mornings don’t get much more lovely than this. Well, by my estimation. It’s bright, sunny…the air is warm and getting warmer, but there is an incredible cool breeze. I appreciate cool breezes — warm ones make me dizzy. My children are chasing each other, laughing, through sun-filtered grass. And I am drinking the loveliest Moonlight Jasmine tea that tastes just like the scent of the fields of my childhood summers.

Not every hour in my day will be like this. Soon there will be sibling squabbles, dishes, decluttering, and more laundry. But for now, I will enjoy the summer bliss. Here I go….

a season of photos



It’s been a very busy few months. Busy sometimes to the point of distraction, but, in general, good busy. There has been the occasional schedule mishap, forgetting something here or there, but nothing we couldn’t get past rather quickly. I’ve come to realize in recent days that I took very few photos this summer. And, in this realization, I’ve come to understand that, for me, taking photos is a form of self care. Self care is a phrase that I have had rolling around in my head this autumn, as I have been following an Instagram friend who regularly uses it as a hashtag. Her self care has included running, trips to the salon, and visiting jazz clubs in the city. I’ve been pondering how photography is an art that I love and an activity I need to be purposeful about doing. It’s everyday life for me to look at something I find beautiful and set up a shot in my mind; it comes naturally. I’m passionate about seeing and capturing the beauty around me. When I get busy, I don’t make time for taking photos, and my life begins to lack something that is important to me. A necessary outlet, a pathway for self expression. Self care. I’m thankful that I noticed the gaping hole in the photo timeline when I was looking through iPhoto earlier this autumn. It helped me realize a few things about myself that I am hoping to remedy going forward. So, this blog post is an album of some of my favorite shots taken this season. No real rhyme or reason, just favorites. I hope you enjoy them.





























































oh. just rest.

IMG_1912It’s January, and I know that the sun is setting soon, here in the late afternoon hours. I’m alone in the house and that’s more rare than not. At least that’s been the case as of late. I’m sitting in my favorite place in the house — a gold chair in the southeast corner of my sitting room — and enjoying the few remaining minutes of daylight. I’m a night person, for sure, but in wintertime, the sun shining in on me when I sit in this treasured spot has been nothing short of therapeutic. I don’t dislike winter, or the cold, really. I don’t prefer them, but I can appreciate the changes they bring, the departure from the norm of the other seasons. I just like seasonal change.
But, life seasons. Life seasons, as opposed to meteorological seasons, don’t always appeal to me in the same way. The changes don’t always go over well with me. I *try* not to complain, but rather try to weather the somethings that come my way with some sort of decorum, finding something to be thankful for in all things. This has been a hard season, this New Year. We’re only three weeks in, but they’ve been a long, challenging three weeks. Sickness took over our household a couple days before the ball of light shimmied down the pole and signaled the hope and anticipation of 2016.

That seems like a while ago. I’m not even certain what changes or aspirations I had in mind in those seven days between stockings and noise makers, between gifts wrapped in bows and gifts reflected upon as the clock would strike midnight and a New Year would be ushered in. So much has been muddled and painful and tiresome and pushed through since then. As I sit here in the beautiful rosy-peach light that is fading too quickly, I find myself trying to put pieces together, daily schedules in place, maybe even give a passing thought to making a meal plan for the coming week, here in my favorite corner.

But then, I give up. I can feel the tension in my body. An almost shaking going on. My best attempts at clear thinking are failing, really. I realize that I just need to be. My colorful cat keeps me company, and relieves some of the stress I’m feeling just by being close, letting me love her. It’s been a particularly troubling 24 hours, on top of the aforementioned rough start to the year. Sometimes you find yourself in a position where you’re just not sure what direction to go and even though you’ve made a decent weighing of the options on both sides of the coin, there are still unknowns and you question your decisions. Or your resolve. Sometimes fear and sadness take over and you could pretend to be brave, pretend to be in a place of confidence, but, really, you are just going through the motions. And you find yourself praying, seeking counsel, making the best decision you can, and trusting God with the result. Because that’s all you can do.

And sometimes you just don’t realize the weight you were under until you’re all alone, staring out the window at the snow, unable to put two thoughts properly together, and you just lay it down. You give yourself the freedom to not be busy, to not be productive. Maybe the productivity is actually in the being quiet. The reflecting on how challenging the recent weeks have been. The stopping on purpose. My tension-weary skin says that yes, an all-out stop is the way to go. Because, I’m not often alone. And I’m tired. And the benefit that I could reap from letting my shoulders fall for a while might just be what’s necessary to stand taller tomorrow. The dimming light isn’t warm, but it’s warming. My curling up in this chair isn’t movement, but it can take me somewhere. To finally take real steps in this New Year.